Reflection: Your Memories and What They Mean
The impulse to reflect upon our life is a natural one that almost everyone experiences. The psychologist Erik Erikson in his theory of Stages of Life saw the search for meaning as the basic issue of mature adulthood. It is a powerful lens through which to view one’s life. People seek meaning and purpose in their life’s achievements. Erikson said that the search for wisdom is the basic virtue of the age. It is a benefit of having reached mature adulthood.
Memoir writers seem to agree. In a poll conducted by Charley Kempthorne, editor of Life Story Magazine, subscribers said that the number one reason for writing a memoir was “to review my own life to understand it better.” Indeed, as people proceed through the process of remembering and reflecting upon their life to create a memoir they begin to see themselves in a different way. Ann Flaxman of the Center for Journal Therapy said that the memoir writers she works with, “…begin to see their lives as jewels that have been polished time and experience and living.”
The meaning of the memories in memoirs and family histories goes well beyond the personal. They are vehicles which preserve your wisdom, values and traditions and those of your family and make sure it is transmitted to the next generation. An heirloom book is a precious treasure. The American Bar Association advised members to urge clients to see that this legacy is preserved along with property and possessions. They said, “A parent’s [grandparent’s or great-grandparent’s] insight and wisdom are the most important asset they can transfer to a child.”
A generation ago family stories and traditions were transmitted personally. The family gathered regularly around Grandma’s table. The ender members of the family told their stories. Children listened and understood their heritage. Today with families geographically dispersed those conversations don’t happen. It’s necessary to preserve that legacy for future generations in a more formal way. BostonGlobe columnist Ellen Goodman said, “What the next generation will value most is not what we owned but the evidence of who we were and the tales of how we loved. In the end, it is the family stories that are worth the storage.” A memoir or family history can provide meaning, understanding and rootedness for the next generation.
The memories preserved in memoirs and family histories have meaning beyond that they convey to family members. The memories of many older Americans encompass one of the most turbulent eras in American history. The Grub Street Senior Memoir Project in Boston is dedicated to the importance of preserving memories as social history. The people they work with, …have seen and participated in sweeping changes in history, technology, culture, communities, arts and are in a unique and powerful position to offer their memories and interpretations of those changes.”
As you reflect on the experiences you might include in your memoir or family history, make sure to explore deeply for all the levels of meaning your life experiences have provided you. These riches are your true family treasure. |
